To my right is the decision we received by the Family Court in Calgary, Alberta. This decision was read to us in open court on Feb. 9, 2001
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Page 7: The Decision
7
Mother credits her parenting skills to the books she has read, noting that she had awful parents who didn't care how she grew up and could not provide leadership; she is focused now on making a solid nuclear family for the Child and does not believe that she needs to take any parenting courses.
Mother says that if the court orders access to the Child by the Grandparents it will destroy her family because the Grandparents have accused her and Allan Radke of abuse. Some examples of her statements around this issue are:
"They have accused Allan of abuse, the man who takes over from the most
irresponsible son that they raised on this earth, and they are accusing us of mistreating him. How dare they? How dare they challenge my parenting? How dare they challenge my right To make decisions for my child? I know what's best for him. I'm his parent I am responsible for him I've done everything with no help, and I am responsible for him. I will make him grow up into a functional adult He's going to enjoy his job, whatever he does. He's going to go to university...children learn what they see Children act how they see people acting, and I myself view myself as an exceptional role model I never lie.. I'm honest with everyone .... I always try to do nice things for people I'm very generous I always help my friends ... I've dedicated my whole life to helping people And what have the Grandparents dedicated their life to? Living off my help... If we have to, we'll go to court without Father's permission and the Child will be adopted "
On cross examination Mother seemed uncertain about when the Child's bad behavior started, but thought it was when he was about 18 months old, although she sought no medical assistance
until he was 7 or 8. She denied that her expectations of the Child are too high and cited the 1-2- 3 Magic program for examples of how fastidious parents can control behavior even more strictly. She was unclear about the amount of time the Child had actually spent with his Grandparents and denied that not seeing them was at all upsetting for the Child. She felt it was entirely appropriate for a nine year old boy to be spanked On a bare bottom. She denied that the Grandparents had once bailed her out of jail. She was insistent that separation from his Grandparents is in the best interests of the Child. She said she has grown up.
On re-examination, Mother produced documentation evidencing that Father has consented to adoption of the Child by Mother and Allan Radke. When the court questioned why Mr. Radke would proceed at that point with adoption after telling the court he might leave Mother and the Child if this court were to grant access to the Grandparents, Mother replied that they were trying to give their case every chance (IE to block access by the Grandparents).