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To my right is the decision we received by the Family Court in Calgary, Alberta. This decision was read to us in open court on Feb. 9, 2001   
The Lost One     |     home
Page 6: The Decision

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Mother says it is ridiculous for Grandmother to say that she helped raise the Child. Her version is that she sent the Child to his Father in Calgary when the Child was about five months old because he was too young to go to a baby-sitter when she was working night shifts. The Child stayed with his Father for about three months before she returned to Calgary. He would go to
see his Grandparents every now and then, but they always made Mother and Father feel indebted and indicated that it was a big chore for them. Mother says she and Father were struggling financially, and the Grandparents didn't work or anything, but they would not watch the Child. They never offered to watch the Child. Mother said; "their exact words were "You know what,
Michelle? If you want to play you got to pay That's what I got from them "

Mother said when she left Father in 1994 she told the Grandparents that she wanted them to maintain a relationship with the Child because he needed extra family - people who love him. She said that she kept her own feelings about the Grandparents quiet and let them see the Child whenever they wanted. This continued until the late summer of 1998, when she advised everyone that the Child's behavior was out of control and no one could see him until she got her family settled down. She says that no one offered any help and even though she had told them that the Child had been diagnosed with ADHD they didn't believe her. She noted that the Child was only on Ritalin during school days so the Grandparents were never asked to administer the drug.

Mother accused the Grandparents of refusing to enforce schedules set for the Child and refusing to feed him the correct food. Once, she said, they called from Sundre to say they had enough of the Child and they were bringing him home

Mother believes that the Grandparents are the only people in the world who would ever accuse her and Allan of abusing their children, as everyone knows that she and Allen are excellent parents who read books and watch educational television shows - do everything for their kids. Mother said again that "everyone that I know will say that I'm an excellent parent, if they know me at all."

Mother indicated that the investigation by social services had resulted in only two suggestions; that a strap should not be used on the Child and a timer should be used for time outs. Mother said she is horrified that Grandmother had used the system the way she had and continues to do so by causing Mother to spend thousands of dollars on the trial when she could be spending it on her son and daughters.

Mother believes that the Grandparents are not good role models and don't know how to care for the Child properly. She does not believe that they would cooperate with her by reading up on ADHD and remains very angry that the "governmental system" has been used to "get back" at her. Mother said that she has never received assistance or support, emotional or otherwise, from
the Grandparents. Mother said that the Child's behavior is 100% better and he is living his life nicer, without migraines and terrible behavior problems, now that he no longer sees his Grandparents.

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