Make your own free website on
To my right is the decision we received by the Family Court in Calgary, Alberta. This decision was read to us in open court on Feb. 9, 2001   
The Lost One     |     home
Page 11: The Decision

generation. They have love and care to give to their grandchildren but do not
wish to have the responsibility of raising a new family. They have learned to say little about the parenting of others because they know that it is a difficult task that can only be carried out to the best of ones ability, but they also have their own views about what a child's life should be like.

I am not persuaded that the Grandparents in this matter were overly interfering; in fact, Mother simultaneously complains that they did not involve themselves enough in her family when she was attending nursing school and in the years immediately after. I reject these complaints because they seem to be founded in a belief that the Grandparents had a duty to provide her with money and gifts. I believe that the best assistance she could have received from them was exactly what they gave - child care over extended periods of time which was worry free and expense free to her.

I am also not persuaded that Mother ever made an effort to explain either the ADHD diagnoses the reasons for the strict discipline regime which she ultimately instituted. By her own acknowledgment and by the acknowledgment of Ms. Marchand, the so called "point system" was not successful and I find that the Grandparents' objection to that system was rational and warranted. I was surprised that someone with Mothers' training and experience would fail to explain to or educate the Grandparents about the behavior problems of the Child; I have concluded, therefore, that she had no further interest in fostering the relationship between the Child and his Grandparents and was, in  fact "setting them up" for withdrawal of access.

I note that Doctor Stone's evidence as to the Grandparents' involvement with and impact on the Child was based entirely on information received from Mother and I can give it no weight. I do, however, accord full weight to the Doctors testimony related to the diagnoses, progress and long term prognosis of the Child. I took particular note of her comments to the effect that as the Child grows older he should demonstrate an increasing ability to make his own judgments.

I noted as well that the twin daughters of the Mother and Allan Radke are also being parented in accordance with the 1-2-3-Magic program. As I heard no evidence that the twins are ADD or ADHD, I conclude that this program is applicable to children without special needs' and is not an extreme program which the Child requires because of his ADHD; consequently, the Mothers
evidence about the extreme troubling behavior of the Child necessitating severely restrictive routine discipline does, I believe, loose some force. Ms. Marchand's evidence in this regard I found to be overwrought and it did not seem to be supported by school records which indicated
that the Child experienced only a few months of difficult behavior. Perhaps if the Child had attended kindergarten he would have had somewhat less difficulty adjusting to Grade 1, or his Mother may have been encouraged to seek medical assistance earlier and the problems could have been resolved or lessened before he entered Grade 1 and the Mother was forced to act
because the school was pointing its finger in her direction.

to page 12